Senin, 11 Desember 2017

why am i blogging?

uda hampir 8 taun ngeblognii yeaay! kalo ditanya kenapa ngeblog, udah lupa banget karna udah nyoba ngeblog dari pas smp dan waktu itu pun ngeblognya sangat gajelas haha walopun sampe sekarang ga jelas. inget banget awal-awal kayak cuma ceritain tentang ketemu ondel-ondel di jalan terus takut tapi niatnya sampe bikin map diedit di photoshop gitu letak ondel-ondelnya, terus nyeritain satu-satu temen deket waktu di sekolah, terus cerita tentang kamar yang berantakan haha ada before and afternya juga, pokoknya emang yaa buat seneng-seneng diri sendiri ajasi. terus semakin kesini jadi semacam travel&photography blog gitu walaupun isinya juga cuma cerita aja gaada deskripsi kayak budgetnya berapa, nginep di hotel apa, tempat yang rekomendasi apa hehe. 

Nah semenjak kuliah ini, emang otaknya jadi suka mikir aneh-aneh, ini bukan mikir pelajaran tapi mikir about social life or everything happens to me/ around me. Gatau kenapa, dulu pas sma kayak masih main-main aja atau cuek gapeduli sekitar kaliya. tapi sayangnya, semua yang dipikirin tuh gapernah bisa diomongin atau diceritain. Kadang ngerasa gapenting untuk diomongin ke orang  atau mungkin karena sering banget gabisa nyeritain suatu hal dengan bener dan misalnya di otak ceritanya se-exciting itu tapi pas diceritain tuh sangat ga banget untuk didenger orang, mungkin karena gabisa ngemas tuh cerita jadi enak didenger atau menarik. Hasilnya adalah niti yang emang jarang banget cerita ke orang-orang, benersi setelah dipikir-pikir, kalo cerita ke orang cuma tentang misalnya abis ngalamin apa dijalan, atau cerita lucu yang gue alami. yaaa pokoknya bukan deep talks yang biasanya temen-temen gue ceritain ke gue. ternyata gue pun baru sadar ketika gue mau cerita sesuatu,  diotak gue terbesit what will other's reaction to my story hehe tapi itu kadang-kadang gitusi. kadang gue bodo amat gitu tapi kadang itu yang bikin gue gajadi cerita.

Nah kayanya satu-satunya cara buat ngeluarin pikiran-pikiran tanpa mikirin komentar orang lain tentang gimana gue bercerita adalah nulis hehe ada beberapa yang ditulis di blog ini atau di tulis di kertas udah kayak diary hehe atau ditulis di notes hp. Jadi sekarang kalo ditanya kenapa ngeblog, biar bisa cerita sesuatu yang ga pengen/ga bisa diceritain ke orang-orang secara langsung. dan yang paling penting, orang-orang bukan fokus sama how i tell my story karena gue sedikit susah ngungkapin sebuah cerita dengan benar. Dengan nulis orang cuma bisa ngeliat hasilnya kan. because they only need what my story is. Tapi sebenernya sekarang ga akan cuma nulis tentang yang personal gitusii, tetep aja bakal nyeritain  kalo jalan-jalan. Tapi, mungkin akan lebih bikin blog yang lebih berguna buat orang lain.

hmm ada motivasi nulis blog. waktu sma pernah ada temen yang gadeket sama sekali, gapernah ngobrol juga terus tiba-tiba ngechat 'nit blog nya seruu bangetsii, lanjutin dong cerita-ceritanya!' waktu itu terharu banget haha i feel appreciated:') this person:') dan orang ini malah yang berterimakasih gitu karna udah nulis blog (24@#!!!!!asdf!!) bukannya gue yang berterimakasih karna dia udah justru dia yang berterimakasih:') terharu, padahal gue gapernah nyuruh orang-orang baca atau sengaja ngeshare di timeline twitter buat dibaca. it happens guys. ketika lo melakukan hal sekecil apapun ke orang lain, orang itu bakal inget terus entah hal tersebut yang bakal bikin dia jatoh atau bangkit. hue jadi kemana-mana ginikan...

next, kalo ditanya kenapa ga di share ajasi kalo nulis? soalnya blog ini terasa sedikit personal udah gitu malu aja kalo dibaca orang yang dikenal wkwk, jadinya cuma nulis di profile instagram, cuma yang emang diem-diem suka baca blog-blog orang aja yang bakal buka, like me. Kalo udah buka blog orang, pasti bakal gue baca terus. bakal rutin ngebacain setiap kontennya, karena gatau ya kalo baca blog orang sekali pasti jadi penasaran apa yang ditulis sama ni orang. Sometimes, from what his/her writing, we'll know a little bit about this person.

Nih kasih foto nyengir dikit biar ga serius-serius amat bacanya

Rabu, 08 November 2017

because words really matter to someone

most people really like to talk, important or not they'll keep talking about anything. realize or not, sometimes what they said just hurt someone oh yeah we live in a wild world. i have thought like that, well sometimes it happens to me (someone judge me) but it hurts just in a glance then i just don't take it too seriously. but for some people, evidently it really matter because i found someone who thinking every other's people said to her/him, because in real life you're really don't know what other people's problems or what they have thought after you said something truth or lies. 

i found person who have problem with "am i kind enough? please don't hate me because i don't deserve it" i've been wonder "is he/she really think that way?" this person literally over-thinking what people's said to her/him. i know that this person is super kind even too kind, so when she/he get treatment beyond her/him expectation, she/he's starting over-thinking until she/he can't sleep after someone said something unpleasant. this is the worst case i've ever heard. she/he has a mental disorder, but no one knows because in front of many people she/he always smile, she/he stands like 'i have no problems' because she/he afford to hide the pain. oh god this is real, i don't even aware if i don't know her/him story. yeah she/he's hiding the pain all this time. 

please, everyone who read this writing, you can't liken one person to others like "bro you're to serious, you're just not fun. see, other person is alright everytime i say like that". my question is "is she/he?" because you're not conscious after that person make confession to you that he/she is really offended with that. you're not having to much permission cause your job is easy, you just have to filter what you said and if you can't you just have to shut up yout mouth. if you have bad thought about other people, please just keep it in your mind. if you're intent to make this person leave the bad things you can tell she/he slowly and face to face, because if you said in front of many people you just made this person embarassed and over-thinking.

ps: sorry for using 'she/he' because i don't want to offend any gender in this story

Jumat, 20 Oktober 2017

happiness is when i learn something

i came to Nunukan Island as a documentary volunteer on 'Ruang Berbagi Ilmu' event from Indonesia Mengajar. i didn't know anyone, i was the youngest. everybody is already working and have knowledge more than i have. this is not my comfort zone. but who knows that this journey made me wiser, more mature, more open because i have to communicate with people i've just met once, met friends who has pure heart to share their knowledge to others, met teachers whose spared their time and money to attended this programme to made education in Indonesia better. 

We also came to Sebatik Island which is on the border of Indonesia and Malaysia and these are what i learned from this short journey.

lesson #1
your ego ruins everything
while they are collaborate to made
something big

lesson #2
live on the border of Indonesia is not easy,
but they survived and keep stayed in Indonesia
with red and white flying above the sky

lesson #3
trip is not all about the beauty 
scenery you've seen but it's about
what you have learn from the trip

lesson #4
here (big city), everyone is too busy to mind 
other's business
which is not important,
but they busy to make
education in Indonesia better

 trio pengajar muda 

 perbatasan indonesia dan malaysia

 acara kemah cinta tanah air

all these photos taken with analog camera (fujifilm b

Rabu, 18 Oktober 2017

heaven on earth /re:Tanimbar Kei/

Tanimbar Kei, Souteast west mollucas

i never expected how beautiful this island was, the most wonderful journey i've ever been. from the first timer fery ship ride, then we continued with 3 hours mini speed boat ride with turquoise ocean around us. aaaaah the most excited feeling ever. when the village looked slowly, we can see the upper village and the lower one from the middle of the bay. after we arrived, the local people welcomed us with their hospitality and also their ritual to welcome people. they served their traditional food, hot tea and one old woman sang a song for us. this little heart smile a bit when i heard her tremble voice yet so strong and beautiful. i thought it was a symbol that they are kind and happy that we came to their village. 

we had 9 days there, but the locals have steal our heart already that they are our family too. i will not share about 'the architecture things' like our first aim to come to their village. ooh i'm not lying that my tears falling down while i write this post, i'm so in love with Tanimbar Kei with everything in it. They never tired to companied us to get all datas there, they gave us tea time with snacks every morning and evening, they invited us to enjoy the beauty of this island like went to cave, beaches and lend us snorkle equipments to enjoy the corals. i remembered when they ivited us to the most exciting beach, the beach has big waves and we were having fun all day long. 

i can see that they have powerful bond each other, they never forget to help each other, have fun together everyday, and make everythings are seems fun even it's just small thing. they have big tolerance, although they have difference faith but they respect each other. i saw it when on of local people died, they (muslim, hindu, cristian, chatolic) attended the funeral. 

I think they have the most quite and calm home ever, i saw that their key of happiness is be grateful and don't be greedy like i see in the majority big city 'everything is about money' but they never have thoughts like that. they have each other and keep their culture and their faith together whatever. and our relationship doesn't end after we back to Jakarta, we keep our contact. sometimes we do video call to keep contact.
well, actually now we are processing a book about Tanimbar Kei. i hope this book will finished well and as a reward to the locals because they are super kind to us and we won't forget because they are our family too.